just a few of a lot more to come

A phone conversation from Day 42 - July 26, 2011.

There is a feeling of happiness and love that is overwhelming me at the moment. On one hand I embrace it and accept it for all it is and all it has potential to be. It's everything that I have been preparing myself for physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually for the last ten months. But my old self still has the other hand where I warn myself that it's only day 42 and there is a lot more to learn and experience. So, while talking to Dulce de TubaDad on the phone I asked him, "Is 42 days a lot or just a few?"

He tapped into my love of pizza.

DTD: So say you have 42 pieces of Little Caesar's pizza.

H: Eh, okay.

DTD: Not so impressive right?

H: No. It is pizza but not very good pizza.

DTD: Right. But what if you have one really good Burrata Mozzarella Pie with pepperonis and a really good salad to go with it from Fireside Pies? Which one sounds better?

H: Well, of course, I want the Burrata Mozzerella Pie. That was a very nice date by the way.

DTD: Right, because it's not quantity. It's quality.

And I completely agree. The 42 days that I have experienced dating Dulce de TubaDad have been pure quality. Everyone of them. But this also made him wonder why I asked that question. He sensed my doubt. And he had an answer. A really good answer.

He tells me this next sentence slowly, with thoughtful pauses, carefully choosing the right words,

It doesn't matter if it's a second, a minute, a week, a month or a year, when it feels right in your heart you know it's right so 42 days is a lot but it's also just a few.

And at that moment, I sent up a silent, "Thank you, God and the whole universe for putting this man in my path!"

On August 12th I will be 42 years old. I have lived a full life with many experiences. As a child I endured my parents painful divorce. And later, I was anxious about their reconciliation but then felt a sense of relief that they had each other again. I've had boyfriends. Some that I liked more than they liked me. And a few that liked me more than I liked them. I've been married. I birthed two wonderful boys. And, I went through my own divorce. A divorce that I chose. In the case of my divorce, and hind sight, my love tank was sitting on empty for too long. Too much resentment built up and I wasn't able to hold on to my marriage. Dr. Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, writes about our basic need to feel loved and the 5 different ways that we feel love. To briefly list them, the 5 Love Languages are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. And when the people in our lives speak our love language to us, our love tanks stay full.

In all my 42 years, through the boys that I desperately obsessed over in high school and the walls that I built up in my flighty young adults days, straight up to convincing my ex-husband to finally marry me already, I can honestly say I do not remember a time when my love tank was so overflowing. I'm one of those 1975 gas pumps that doesn't have the automatic shut off valve when the tanks is full and gas is spewing all over the car and the ground. That is my love tank these days.

And the thing that makes it so special is that TubaDad expresses my feelings as his own.

And as we talked day 42 into the early morning of day 43 we both agreed it's a just a few of a lot more to come.