Smoking Babies

Just before Thanksgiving I planned to meet a man at Tolbert's in Grapevine. We had spoken on the phone a couple of times and I wasn't crazy about his voice.

I have discovered that I'm attracted to a mans tone of voice.

But, I am trying to give men a fair chance, you know?

So, we planned to meet on a Friday night at Tolbert's in Grapevine. My work friends had decided to go to happy hour and they don't usually stay that long so I didn't think time would be an issue. But, of course, that night my co-workers were a lot of fun and I really didn't want to go. Was this a bad sign?

We texted each other and I told him I was running late to which he was fine with as he was also at happy hour with his friends.

We met at Tolbert's and I remember thinking- wow, he kind of has a cartoon head. You know, a big head and face on a small frame. Kind of like a walking characterture. I texted my friend and said as much.

Stop, Hope!

Deep breath. Happy thought. Open your mind and your heart. He could be a really nice guy.

We had a beer there and he said he wanted to walk across the street to Wilhoite's.

Wilhoite's is known as being a biker bar. If you go there and sit inside, you can plan to smoke a pack of cigarettes. Even if  you don't smoke. Seriously, the following day my throat was scratchy and I did feel like I had personally chain smoked two pack of Camels. No filter.

We make our way to the loft area where a friendly lady meets us at the top of the stairs where she announces, "Hi. My name is Sheila (I'm making that up. I can't remember her name) and today is birthday and this is my party."

We smile and say, "Oh, well happy birthday!"

Sheila: You can sit up here with us but you have to buy me a beer.

Me: Oh well great. My cartoon friend here would love to buy you a beer. What are you drinking?

And we find a table to sit at, order her a beer and continue our date of getting to know each other.

I don't really remember much about what we talked about but this part of the night is very clear. We're sitting there and I look over at the pool table area and right there in the middle of Wilhoite's is a baby. A little, tiny, brand new baby.

I immediately pull out the Sweet Home Alabama line used by Reese Witherspoon, "You have a baby. In a bar."

Sheila comes over to collect her beer and I guess she sees us eyeing the baby because she says, "Did you see my grandson over there? He's eight days old. And he so cute and healthy."

Me: Wow! Eight days old. That is great. You must love being a grandmother.

Cartoon Head and I look at each other and shake our heads in disbelief. Sweet 8 Days Old won't be healthy for long if you keep bringing him to Wilhoite's.