Being Snarky is Not Good on a First Date

Have you ever had one of those days that no matter what people do they just get under your skin? You're completely laughing that you're irritated and definitely deflecting with sarcasm so when people don't know you they think you're - well - they think you're a complete bitch!

Have you ever had one of those days?

Enter Mr. Sutherland. I call him that because he worked at Sutherland's. He did not have a photo attached to his profile for the reason that he claims that ladies in office were online as well and he didn't want them to see him on Match. com.

He sent me a nice email and offered to send me his photos. And surprisingly, Mr. Sutherland is cute. We trade emails and talk on the phone and decide to meet for dinner. So, just to note- he was cute and he was nice.

We had a drink in the bar first and then were seated for dinner.

I can't remember exactly what all the conversations were about but what I remember most was that at some point I started talking.

And talking.

And talking.

And in my head I could hear, "Shut Up, Hope!"

But I couldn't! I just couldn't stop talking!

Maybe if I had been talking about how passionate I was about painting or blogging or hell, even how much I loved to throw darts it would have been alright. But, it wasn't. It was about how I hated snow. And how I was so turned off by my cousins "Super Christian" status. And which family members I liked and which ones I didn't like. And I think I threw in how hard it was to be a mom and why didn't anyone tell you BEFORE you had kids how hard it was! Why? Why doesn't anyone tell you how hard it is to raise kids? And why! Why in hell couldn't I just SHUT UP!

He inquired about my bracelets. That's my thing. You know, a signature piece. I have one that my friend gave me that has a medallion attached to it that says luck. Another bracelet was a Mother's Day Gift. The third bracelet was a simple band with a silver band that said Positivity on it. Kind of funny since most of what I was saying was all negative!

I was Negative Nancy who word vomited all over him! And, that's not usually who I am. Maybe once a quarter or so I get snarky and spout off but usually I'm pretty quiet. At least until you get to know me. Not on a first date!

I woke up Friday morning pulling the Homer Simpson, "DOH!" and I knew I would not be Mrs. Sutherland.

At the end of the evening, Mr. Sutherland was kind enough to kiss me goodnight even after I word vomited all over him. But guess what. I couldn't shut up even then!

I had a mint in my mouth and I think I said something like, "I feel like a squirrel."

"And I hate squirrels."