Over analyzing and dissecting every word and action is something I am very good at and it's something that drives me absolutely crazy about myself. I believe that the Universe is conspiring to help me make my dreams come true but it likes to constantly test me as to what it is I actually want. It's starting to piss me off to be honest.
So, let's discuss the Friday night date with TheVoice.
TheVoice gives me butterflies and makes me laugh. I had fun on our date. We started at one bar, and bar hopped to other places throughout the night. We went through each others wallets, we discussed exes, his lips fell off his face and mine caught them, he gave me some flowers from the flower pot next to our table, we drank too much and I kicked his ass in darts. I would like nothing else to jump off the high dive into believing that he's my next husband but he's already planning for me to be his next ex wife. There are already three of them and before you go off judging him let's not call him a three time loser- let's call him a three time learner (I read that in a soul mate book.) and I believe at his core, he's a good guy even if I'm not the girl for him. He was being cheeky, I know, when he introduced me to the strangers sitting next us at the bar we were at as, "this is my future ex wife" but over analyzing and dissecting- that's what I do. I'm already the ex! How did that happen? How did we fall out of love so quickly?
We discussed the Wednesday night farce of me texting him while waiting for another date. He makes the comment, "But I'm better looking than him." to which I reply, "That's a true statement." but what I didn't say was, (because I'm not quick witted enough, damn it!) "but that's just the icing on the cake. What's the cake? Do I like the cake? Or, does it have some gross filling in it that's has little chunks of pineapple and those strands of coconut? Yuck."
TheVoice says he has a knack of reading people, "for example," he says, "I can tell you really like me." Which is also a true statement. I like you so much that it scares the hell out of me. Thankfully, I didn't verbalize that but I kind of wonder if he saw it on my face since he has a knack of reading people.
Then TheVoice says this, "I'm a bad boy."
Let's analyze and dissect that statement, shall we?
Dear Universe, I do not want a bad boy. Bad boys make girls feel insecure and crazy, and frankly, not two attributes I like feeling. What I would like, dear Universe, is a kind, caring, fun man who wants to love me and make me happy sharing laughter, good times and bad times and that would like for me to reciprocate those feelings for him. THAT is what I want. I think that is what we all want.
So, when TheVoice says I'm a bad boy, I should believe him, right? He's telling me who he is, right? Was that him being cheeky? Was it a true warning or just a funny statement? Honestly, I have no idea. I guess we will only know with how he follows up after the date.
What I do know is that I can't let those butterflies of attraction make me crazy and insecure. I have to keep a level head and see what's actually under the icing because as handsome as the icing is, it's the cake that actually matters, otherwise, it's just sugary icing that will just wind up giving you a stomach ache.
So, it's not that I don't hope to hear from TheVoice again but when TubaDad called on Saturday, I happily accepted the invitation to join him for dinner and a movie.
Maybe I'll stop by the store and pick up a cake.
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