An Easy-peasy Lovefest

It's been about eight months since I've posted here and I just wanted to share with you that married life is good.

Really good. You may remember that Tuba Dad and I counted the days since we met each other and today marks 802 best days of my life.

That's not to say that it hasn't been difficult at times. It has. Mostly for me! Merging two families together and learning each others quirks and realizing we're not under dads relaxed rules is no easy task. For example, I don't want dirty teenagers eating in the living room. Or, the bedrooms. We have perfectly nice kitchen where you can do that. And, while I don't mind picking up after you every now and then, I am not your maid. Shoot! I'm not even my own maid! I hate cleaning.

There were some serious anxiety ridden days in my house earlier this year when feeling like the Queen Nag really wore me out. Or, the new slave driving position Tuba Dad took kept him long hours at work. Or, the girl employee of Tuba Dad's that really got on my nerves because I felt like she wanted Tuba Dad to value their relationship more than our relationship and whether it's true or not, that was my perception. Following me on that one? Or, when the Cheerleader (step-daughter) was lying to us about the completely inappropriate boy that she wanted to date. Oh my!

I wasn't prepared to care so much for his kids and to feel so out of control. And that's what I am- out of control. OOC! I have no control over their school activities or who they see or any of that. And, I'll admit that I was jealous of the relationship I saw developing with Tuba Dad and my two boys. Happy, but jealous. It's not easy to develop that same relationship with older kids when I only get to see them roughly 4 days out of any given month.

Anyway, Tuba Dad, has been an absolute pillar through all my craziness. Steady, calm, loving and reassuring. I'm sure he has thought "What have done?" a time or two. If it was just the two of us it would be an easy-peasy lovefest but it's six of us and though it can be chaotic and loud (why are they so loud?) and dirty and expensive (Eating out!) it's really, really good, too.

So, my 2011 Year of Love has been such a wonderful success and I'm right in the middle of it all and it's here and it's real. So, why do I feel like something is missing? Not missing in my relationship but in my purpose. It's kind of like I got everything I wanted, and now what? I feel like I'm denying some kind of purpose that I'm supposed to be fulfilling but not 100% sure what that purpose is.

And maybe part of the purpose of this post is to open this little blog back up and type out all the dating advice that worked for me to find my little lovefest of a life I'm living so that someone else might stumble on it or share it with a friend who is in dating despair.

I don't know. We'll see what happens though, okay?

Until next time, may your lovetank be overflowing.