A funny thing happened while waiting for my date.

Let's talk real time. Well, like last night.

So far, everyone I've written about has had some time pass between the actual date and the publishing time of these posts but last night was way too classic.

Here are the players:
Me -  Cute, sweet, funny me. I think Sandra Bullock will play me in the movie.

TubaDad - Nice guy. His son plays the tuba and it was a funny story. We were meeting for dinner at 7:30 at roof top pizza place that features music. This is our second date. I'm thinking Stanley Tucci will play him but Stanley may be too old. Give me a 40 year old bald man. Maybe Jason Statham if he can do an American accent.


TheVoice - We have a date planned for Friday night. Tomorrow. He offered to pick my up on his motorcycle but I declined for the first date. We've shared a couple of emails and one phone call yesterday at lunch. He has a smooth, beautiful, deep voice. A new comer may have to play him because I can't find an actor that has both the deep voice and the looks of a 45 year old Caucasian man. Michael Clarke Duncan's voice and Mark Harmon's appearance but I could be totally off since I haven't actually met him yet.

Colorado Steve - He's relocating to Texas and suppose to be moving here next week. We "dated" April through early June. He came into town to meet me. We talked on the phone for hours. Well, he talked and I listened. He became super stressed and the phone calls dropped off. My gut was saying "this isn't the one, girl" but I like to give guys a fair chance. Or, I'm just stupid. I think I made the right decision by calling this one off. I think he will be played by a really cocky Gerard Butler and he has to have a weird Oregon accent.
 
Okay- so there I was waiting for TubaDad. I was a little early so I send a text at 7:29 saying: I'm here. I just wanted to make sure you aren't waiting upstairs.
 
7:31 - he texts back:  Me too, where are you. I have my speedo on ;) I'm sexy.
 
I think, "Hmm, is that out of character?" I look up and there, strutting down the sidewalk is Colorado Steve. With a date. Wait. What is Colorado Steve doing in Southlake. And oh my freaking God, they're coming in here.
 
I have an adrenaline spike and I'm in flight mode to the ladies room and I'm texting the whole way- Are you upstairs?
 
I'm in the bathroom still at 7:33 when I get "Yep, I'm waiting for you :), not"
 
I leave the bathroom, heart pumping like crazy, and ask the guy at the door if the gentleman in blue had gone upstairs and he confirmed that he had. So, I'm standing on the sidewalk wondering if I'm going to have to go upstairs and face both TubaDad and Colorado Steve. That won't be awkward. No, not awkward at all.
 
7:35 - this texts arrives: Hmmm, I have an upstairs, could be interesting, but I don't ride motorcycles on the first date.
 
And that's when I nearly throw up and pass out right there on the sidewalk in Southlake because of the realization that I've been texting TheVoice, not TubaDad.
 
So there I was. Waiting for TubaDad, erroneously texting TheVoice when the last person I expect to see, Colorado Steve, walks up with a date sending me into a heart pumping, head spinning frenzy where I am now expecting to throw up and pass out at any moment when TubaDad shows up, TheVoice is still texting me wondering what the hell kind of nut job I am and Colorado Steve is in Texas with a date at the same restaurant where I'm supposed to be on date!
 
The only thing that could have been funnier is if the other 13 men that I've dated in the last 8 months had shown up, I actually did throw up and then passed out. That would have been hilarious. But thankfully, that did not happen.