Oh, Meatballs! A Valentine's Day Report

It's our first Valentine's Day Report.

Are you ready for this romantic, mushy, gushy, do the gag move? Well, if that's what you're looking for then you're not going to find here on this report.

Last Thursday, I asked TubaDad if he wanted to come have dinner with me and the boys on Valentine's Day. I would cook dinner.


Okay- stop. You know I'm in love if I'm cooking for the man.

Okay- resume.

He, of course, said yes and told me and the boys to decide on what to cook.

I had just seen an episode of Guy's Big Bites and I wanted to make Hunter's Hoagies except not on Hoagies. On pasta.

I made the list of all the ingredients on Saturday.

I did the shopping for all the ingredients on Sunday.



 

We cooked hot dogs on Sunday evening and discussed Tuesday's menu.

Monday evening after working all day, picking up kids and feeding them cereal and macaroni and cheese (One had cereal. The other had mac and cheese. I know. Mother of the Year) I started preparing Tuesday nights meal.

First I started the sauce. I chopped onions. Okay- I put them in the little chopper.

I crushed garlic. I chopped basil and oregano. I cooked a beautiful sauce.

I obviously got the wrong cans of tomatoes. I purchased the puree while I think I was supposed to get whole tomatoes because the recipe says it yields 3 cups when I had 6 cups.

The reason I don't cook. I suck at it.

Second, I started the meatballs.

I chopped onions. By hand. Not the little chopper. I crushed garlic. I chopped red bell peppers. Okay- I put those in the little chopper, too.

I sauteed those three items.

I minced basil and oregano.

I soaked bread in milk.

I mixed all the ingredients together- the raw meat, the sauteed vegetables, the soaked bread, the raw egg and formed it all into the most beautiful meatballs you have ever seen.

I put the sauce and the raw meatballs in the refrigerator ready for Valentine's Day Dinner preparation.

I broke out the dessert. I washed strawberries. I dried strawberries. I hand dipped them in chocolate. I even melted some white chocolate to make them pretty.

I finished wrapping the beautiful strawberries on a plate and put them in the refrigerator.

Ah. Ready for the best, first Valentine's day ever.

TubaDad calls me not long after I had finished cleaning the kitchen and we were discussing all the great things I had accomplished in preparation for our very first Valentine's Day which, by the way, also falls on our 8 month (or 246 days) anniversary when all of a sudden he starts saying, "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" over and over again. I think he through in fiddle fart and I can't believe this. All of which are big tip offs that Valentine's day is ruined!

Bless his surprised heart.

You know how when you put two moments in time together and realize that you over committed yourself and you can't do both things? That's where he was.

He had training in Houston on Wednesday and Thursday which clearly were not on Valentine's Day but he had to drive down on Tuesday night to be there bright and early.

Did you just here the "Wha-wha-wha" game show loser sound?

I felt bad for him because he kept saying, Are you mad? I'm so dumb. How could I have done this? I'll make it up to you. I promise.

I was disappointed that we wouldn't be together and a little sad about that too but I wasn't mad because in the grand scheme of things- it's our first Valentine's Day and I know that I am loved because I feel his love in my heart everyday. This is just the first Valentine's Day that we will be together (or share at a distance). There will be so many more. And, I think the whole situation punctuates the fact that I am the BEST girlfriend in the whole world!

And, most importantly, it's hilarious and makes a really good blog post.

Hope your Valentine's Day was as wonderful as mine.

I cooked the dinner anyway and shared it with my boys as planned. I also got some gorgeous roses with the kindest note ever and all is well in TubaLand.

Love, Hope

So, what did you get for Christmas? Do you want to know what I got?

Can you say:

M E X I C O !

I can!

I guess all of our conversations about running away together and shirking all responsibility said something to TubaDad. We won't really run away but it could totally happen in 8 years.

Poor thing. All he got was a Buccee's t-shirt, candied jalapenos, a deck of semi-pornographic but artsy cards, a candle, and Polo pullover. 

We opened up presents on Christmas Eve night and my monsters got bikes for Christmas. If you want to know how you can fall more in love with a man- watch him help your boys with their bikes in the street at 11:00 at night on Christmas Eve. Patient and kind and helpful. There's your "Ah!" moment of the day.

In other news, we spent New Year's Eve together and it was so perfect. He and his TubaPlayer came over and ran around with my two monsters. We baked pizza, they acted like boys, they shot off party poppers and fireworks and we all toasted in 2012 together at midnight. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect night. (Well, we were short a daughter but she was having fun on her own the way it should be.)

Oh, and the man of my dreams now lives .08 of a mile away from me in a rent house. 

It's awesome.

Hello!

Two months have gone by since I've last posted.

That's exactly 61 days.

And today is Day 176 of:
Hope + TubaDad
equalling
L. O. V. E.

Can you say happy, happy girl?

I can! Happy, happy girl!

I just wanted to update and say that all is wonderful and the honeymoon phase is still going strong.

May it never, never end!

Exposing your secret baggage will set you free.

On July 19th, which was only day 36, I posed the question "What are the chances that my online dating days are over?" It was only 36 days in so it was kind of a long shot. All kinds of things could of happened and all kinds of GOOD things have happened.

On Day 110 we went to church and Pastor John talked to us about our secret baggage and how it creates anxiety in our lives. I thought of my secret baggage. Mother frencher. I could rationalize that it wasn't secret baggage all I wanted because my friends know and I've already asked for forgiveness for that secret baggage and I've forgiven myself, but the truth is if TubaDad doesn't know then it's secret baggage. Maybe it's not the steamer trunk it once was but it was now a small purse. A very heavy small purse.

I decided I need to consult with the person I know loves Jesus the most. My friend, Leah. I told here what Sundays message was and asked her what she thought. She confirmed my gut feeling and told me that I needed to tell TubaDad.

So, I might as well admit it here, too. It can only free me that much more. See, my marriage was crumbling all around me and there was tiny thread wrapped around my wrist and I was barely holding on for lots of reasons. So when a man in my office started showing me attention and giving me the emotional support I so desperately needed, I let go of the string and clung to him. In less cryptic or poetic talk- I had an affair. And I continued that affair after I was divorced. He was married, too. I'm not justifying my actions or making excuses. What I did was wrong. But it happened and I can't change it now.

What I can do is tell you that I learned a very big lesson the most difficult way possible and I never, ever want to be in that position again. It's the most self-destructive, insecure, hurtful, depressing roller coaster of a ride a person can be on. I was immature and deceitful and that's not who I want to be.

I texted TubaDad on day 113 and asked him if he would come over after the boys went to bed. He really didn't want to. The man works so hard, I don't blame him. I told him I could wait until Thursday (date night) to tell him about my secret baggage but when he found out what it was about he knew we needed to get it behind us. And, he didn't want to wonder for the next 2 days what the hell my secret baggage was all about.

I was grateful because I certainly didn't want to keep practicing what I was going to tell him and worrying about how he would respond. Without airing too much of his business, this is where it became complicated for me because his marriage ended due to an affair. Not his. Hers.

Moving on.

He came over and with him sitting on a bar stool and me standing in his arms so I don't have to look him in his eyes and I tell him.

Our body temperatures must of gone up 175 degrees. Or, maybe it was just me.

Long story short, the man is a saint.

He said he could ask me a bunch of questions but that wouldn't do either of us any good. He told me he still loved me and he wasn't going to worry about what happened out of his control before 113 days ago.

I, of course, was in tears. Not big sobbing, ugly tears but tears all the same. They were both tears of relief that he didn't get angry with me and tears of sadness for having to relive that chapter of my life again. And where does all that snot come from when you cry? Ew.

He told me not to worry. We hugged good night, we've texted and talked on the phone the last couple of days, and tonight is date night. Can someone please make time go by faster for the next 3 - 4 hours?

Here I am on day 115 and I'm going to pose the question again.
What are the chances that my online dating days are over? If I have anything to do with it, they're 100% over. Best 115 days of my life!



I was going to end it there but some of you girls need this next statement:
No, he's hasn't popped the question or anything close to that but this man is the O-N-E. The one for me.

4 Boys and 1 Girl on a Date.

I was completely outnumbered and I loved it.

And no, it wasn't some kinky date. Get your minds out of the gutter.

Last Saturday evening, TubaDad and TubaPlayer came over and took me and my two monsters to dinner and a movie. It was fun to watch.

TubaPlayer came in and hugged me and then both monsters approached and everyone shook hands at introductions. It was all very formal for 9, 10 and 13 year old boys.

We went to Fuzzy's Tacos and the line to order was long and the restaurant was crowded. The boys went off to secure us a table. TubaDad and I canoodled in line and placed our order then went to see where we were sitting on the patio. Well, I guess the boys were so caught up in getting to know each other- how old are you, what grade are you in, what sports do you play, isn't our parents kissing gross (I made that one up) - they did a horrible job at getting us a table. The got a half surf-board table that sat 3. Hello? Where are your parents suppose to sit?

Luckily, TubaDad saw an opportunity inside and ran in and procured it for us. The boys sat at one end while TubaDad and I sat across from each other at the other end. I don't remember what the boys were talking about but TubaDad was going to interject a comment but the boys were so involved in talking to each other we might as well not have been there it all. TubaDad looked at me and said, "I got shut out." It made me laugh and while it was kind of sad that they weren't paying attention to TubaDad, I thought it was great that they were getting along so well.

After dinner we drove over to a theater that was featuring Moneyball at 8:15pm but when we got there it was sold out. We drove over to another theater for a later showing. And again, mostly TubaDad and I didn't exist. They just hammed it up with each other. Jumping and swinging on tree branches, having a foot race, asking all kinds of questions, playing video games together, going to the concessions together, and so on.

 

It. Was. Greatness.

It was late when the movie ended but we all made it through. We all laughed about the ending and when we got back to my house TubaDad and TubaPlayer skedaddled out there pretty quickly. I hugged my man. Then, I hugged the TubaPlayer and the boy monster's first meeting was a success.

But I expected no less. We both have good monsters.

TubaDad told me that when the two of them got to the drop off point that TubaPlayer announced to his mom and sister- "I got to meet Hope's boys."

 

Alright! We made the Report.

I met my boyfriend's teenage children and were they brutal! Damn!

Just kidding about the title. I am happy to report that Meet the Teenager's went fine.

They weren't super talkative or inquisitive or extremely one way or the other. I wasn't either.

We all just allowed ourselves to be in the same space. And, for me, it was very nice. I hope it was fine for them, too.

TubaPlayer has the "Hey Dad" syndrome that I know as the "Hey Mom" syndrome at my house and it made me smile.

The Daughter was quiet and has TubaDad's right cheek dimples that I love so much.

One of my favorite moments was after church when we were driving over to the store when George Strait's song "Here for a Good Time" came on the radio. The two of them were singing along in the back seat and I can't explain why but it was the sweetest of moments. I could have lived that moment forever. I have been humming this song all day today.



My second favorite moments were the hugs. TubaDad's mom made The Daughter come down to hug me goodbye as she was spending the night with her grandparents. TubaPlayer gave me a hug a goodbye, too.

And even better- he gave TubaDad his approval after I left.

Day 83 - I. Am. Freaking. Out.

No, today is not day 83. Sunday is day 83. And why am I freaking out about day 83? Well, because I'm going to meet the love of my life's offspring! If they were two 10 year old boys I would totally know what to do. But they're a 14 year old girl and 13 year old boy. Yikes! Teenagers!

Deep breaths. Happy thoughts.

They're going to totally love me. I mean, what's not to love? I'm freaking cool. Even if I was a band geek. But hey! Everyone was in the band! Really! Everyone!

I digress.

Really, I'm just excited.

But nervous.

And excited.

I guess I really just want them to like me as much as my boys liked TubaDad. What's not to like about a guy who throws the football and Frisbee with you, or plays a Wii tournament with you, or wrestles in the pool with you? But I think he had it WAY easier. 10 year old kids are so much more forgiving! So easy to please! I mean all you have to do is be kind of silly and you're cool.

The current plan is that we're all going to go to church together so I won't even have to talk during that hour. Thank you, God! Then, we're going to go over to his parents house for a little Sunday afternoon gathering. So, I'll have extended family that I've already met to help buffer so I really have nothing to be nervous about. Right?

Unless I accidentally drop an F bomb. Or, if I happen to get snarky and they don't get sarcasm. Or, I word vomit all over them. Or, or, or... I accidentally burp really loud! Or pass gas!

F-Bomb!

I. Am. Freaking. Out.



PS It will be fine. I know it will. Because I'm F-bombing cool. Fo Shizzle.  Do they still say that? Maybe I should just listen.